


Paper Towels

by mcgooglykins



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Anthropomorphic, I lost control of my life a long time ago, Other, Pinto, they're paper towels and paper towel holders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 18:14:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6999148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgooglykins/pseuds/mcgooglykins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ZQ is a stack of paper towels looking for the right kind of paper towel holder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paper Towels

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wildandwild](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildandwild/gifts).



Once upon a time there was a stack of paper towels named ZQ. He knew he was in high demand, because all the paper towel holders wanted to hold him. ZQ was _hot stuff_ in the paper towel world.

But ZQ couldn't decide which holder he wanted to go with. He didn't know if he was ready for that big of a commitment in his life. He had two major options - Princess the silver, shiny, pretty holder; and JGroff the sparkly novelty holder.

He sat down on the kitchen bench to discuss his options with his BFF Zoe the Napkin Ring. 

"You should follow your heart," was Zoe's advice, because she always gave sensible advice like that. 

But ZQ was a stack of paper towels. He didn't have a heart. All he had were fibres, and those fibres had  _needs_. So he picked JGroff, because JGroff looked like he was the sort of paper towel holder who liked being **SAVAGELY** used by the paper towels, and ZQ was into that sort of thing.

"I could have made you happy," Princess told him sadly from across the counter. "We could have imported little washcloths and been a proper family."

ZQ tried to ignore the guilty sadness he was feeling, along with the single manly tear running down Princess' outer surface, and settled down with JGroff.

***

For a while, it worked really well. JGroff was young and hip, and had a penchant for musical theatre that ZQ found fucking endearing. But eventually the honeymoon period was over, and the little things began to really rub ZQ the wrong way. 

Mostly, that was JGroff's glitter. It was really itchy, and purple had  _never_ been ZQ's colour. The last straw came when, no matter how **SAVAGE** or bitchy ZQ was, JGroff never fought back.

"You've got no spine!" ZQ yelled.

"Of course not, I'm a paper towel holder, not a vertebrate," JGroff replied, confused.

"That's it, I'm leaving." ZQ said, and he did.

***

"What am I going to do now?" ZQ wondered morosely, as he hung out on the edge of the stove. "Who would have me now? Nobody, that's who. I may as well end it all."

"I'll have you," came Princess' voice from behind him. "I've always loved you."

"Even though I'm used goods?" ZQ didn't dare hope. "Even though I'm ~soiled~?" (which he was, as someone had spilt diet coke on him the week before).

" _Especially_ since your'e soiled," said Princess.

ZQ didn't hesitate any longer, and he leapt into Princess' arms, or whatever you call the bits that hold the paper towels.

And they all lived Happily Ever After.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as a birthday gift for @wildandwild at 3am, on ACTUAL PAPER TOWELS, leaning on an empty gurney in the emergency department I worked in at the time. I pulled a couple of paper towels out of the holder above the sink I'd been leaning against, waiting for admissions, and scribbled this out in about fifteen minutes. Frankly it's the cheapest birthday present I think anybody has ever given anybody else in the world. Somehow, we've remained friends :P.


End file.
